I have experienced so much pain and loss in my life, but nothing prepared me for the loss of my dad. Just four days after we celebrated his 68th birthday on the 4th of July 2019, he passed away peacefully.
The relationship I had with my dad was a true reflection of a relationship between a heavenly father and his daughter. I experienced God’s love through him and I am eternally grateful to God for his life.
Growing up, my dad worked very hard to provide for us and send us to some of the best schools, his greatest joy was to see us happy. He was a good spiritual leader and led our family well. It was because of my father that I got to know God and develop a relationship with him.
All I ever wanted was to make my dad proud. So you can imagine what it felt like coming back home with my children. I really felt like a failure, but my dad made the transition so much easier for me. He always spoke words of encouragement, and prophesied into my life and he loved his grandchildren unreservedly.
Because of this, I still have a lot of unanswered questions. Why would God take away my pillar of strength when he knows I needed him the most? Why would God take away my children’s best friend when he knows they needed him the most. Why? Why? It all doesn’t make sense. I have a choice though, and that is to trust God, especially when things don’t make sense. I am reminded of the song that says:
“Whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say. it is well with my soul.”
Understanding that whether good or bad, nothing happens without God’s approval, I might not understand why it happened the way it happened and when it happened, but what I know for sure is that God allowed it and he has a purpose for it. Therefore, I will continue to “be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” (Romans 12:12 NIV)
This doesn’t mean that I don’t miss my dad or experience pain from time to time. I do, and sometimes I cry out to God, it’s all part of the healing process. When it hurts the most, I encourage you to run to God because only he can understand what you are going through and provide you with the comfort you need. For the scripture says “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV)
Grief can be overwhelming at times and when it feels as such it is OK to cry out to God. As David did:
“My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word” (Psalm 119:28 NIV)
“From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I”. (Psalm 61:2 NIV)
I don’t know what pain you are going through now or what loss you have suffered but do know that God’s grace is sufficient to take you through it all and you will come out the other side stronger than ever.