How do you determine if you're in the right relationship?

Waiting for God's best

How do you determine if you’re in the right relationship?

I believe that we were all created for companionship, to love and to be loved. This is why God created a companion for Adam. Genesis 2:18 says: “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

Desiring a relationship is human nature, however before we get into a relationship we need to know that it is God’s best for us. Having gone through what I went through, I now understand how important it is to be with the right person, the person God created for you.

2 Corinthians 6:14-15 (NIV) says “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?”

Being unequally yoked with an unbeliever can be detrimental. However believers can be unequally yoked too, that is through our beliefs and calling in life.

The question then becomes “how do you know if you are with the right person?” As a young woman I had a checklist of all the things my God – given husband should be. Top of my list was that he must be God fearing, he must not drink or smoke etc. Having checklists is not a bad thing however there is more to it than just ticking off boxes. It’s possible that he might tick all the boxes and still not be the one from God.

Praying and fasting and waiting on God is very important to ensure that you get into a relationship with the right person. I was having this discussion with a friend and I received a revelation. Instead of ticking off boxes from a checklist to ensure that the person is the right one for you, you need to internalize the question and ask yourself if you are the right person for them. If you cannot answer that question confidently or tick all the boxes on your own checklist then chances are you are not meant for that person either.

Another way to determine if you are in the right relationship is asking “Does this relationship glorify God or does it lead me into sin?” It could be that you find yourself compromising on your beliefs for example engaging in fornication, premarital sex or any other sin that separates us from God. I believe that God would never send us someone who leads us into sin.

You should always examine your motives for being in a relationship. There are many reasons why we get into relationships. It might be because we are lonely, or we don’t feel worthy and we just want to be loved or we are benefiting something materialistic or any other thing, from the relationship. However God created us to fulfill his purpose on earth. You need to ask yourself “does this relationship enable me to fulfill my God given purpose?” The same goes for the other person. Does the relationship enable the other person to fulfill their purpose?

Waiting for God’s best is not easy, I know. But it’s better to wait than to be unequally yoked with someone. This will be very frustrating and will have disastrous results.

I read somewhere that if the devil cannot destroy you or harm you he will distract you from your purpose and God. Ultimately this is what he would have achieved if he distracted you. He can still achieve the same if he gets you to lose focus by being in a wrong relationship.

God loves us so much and he wants us to honor him even in our relationships. He will surely send us the right person if we are patient enough and keep our eyes focused on him.

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